i've got friends in all places

I can't say I necessarily recommend it, but having a point in your life where you don't have any friends can be beneficial. I don't think you should delete your facebook and become a hermit. But there is something to be said for realizing how important friends are, and how integral a part they play in your life.

I joined a sorority when I started college. I joined to meet boys- much to my disappointment, there aren't boys in the sorority. There were, however, a lot of women. Women who are thrown together and expected to be friends, whether they would or want to anyway. Think of reality shows. There is a reason people go insane and fight over nonsense. There's no escape. They didn't gravitate towards these people and develop friendships and relationships over time and shared interests and a genuine meshing of personality. Some people can thrive in that environment. I am not one of those people.

Fast forward a few years, and I'm getting thrown out of my sorority (there's no real scandal behind it, but a lot of straws on a camel's back). I moved out of the house I was renting with a sorority sister and her boyfriend. The moving truck came, and I called my only friend at the time- Kelli. We had met at our work- a bar/restaurant/bowling alley/games/nightclub kind of place. She is gorgeous- model beautiful. She is also the nicest human being on the planet, smart, and hilarious. She was my grasp at survival of what was a pretty dark time in my life. Kelli, who was hungover, god bless her, came to my house at 9am. She and I moved all of my furniture out (I did get one of those lovely boys I had met to help us with my bed) of my house and into my new apartment. I stayed at her house that night because I didn't have electricity yet. And thus, Kelli became my first grown-up friend.

Shortly thereafter, I reconnected with a few high school friends. I went to graduate school and met more people. I had a variety of jobs where I made more friends. I did volunteer work, went out to bars and clubs, parties, and slowly built up an arsenal of friends that is probably double the number of "friends" I had in my sorority. I have male friends and female friends, from 18 to 50, different colors, backgrounds, and interests. A lot of my friends don't know each other, and I love to introduce them. My birthday party was about 50 people where the average person knew 3 other people. I love it. They are an important part of my life- a true extension of my family. My best friend lives in Japan now, and we still talk on the regular- we know what's going on in each other's lives- everything. Facebook, with all its faults, has been wonderful for reconnecting with people, including my childhood best friend, Maggie. The only problem is that I wish I had been in touch with Maggie all this time, because she is as completely awesome now as she was when we were kids.

I am not opposed to sorority life. For some people, it's a great way to make friends. I did get a lot of life experience out of it. I met a lot of boys (many of whom I am still friends with). Those boys helped my self-esteem more than the struggles with the sorority damaged it. And now, I truly appreciate how important my friends are. I try to be the best friend I can be. I'm eternally grateful to have found so many people who love me the way I am, and have stuck around for the other side of the bell curve.

To my friends, I love you. I love you for your encouragement, your support, the laughter, the tears, helping me move, helping me celebrate, helping me mourn, and helping me love myself the way you love me.

Sorry for the mushy- I promise to get back to being a smart-ass tomorrow.