act ii

More of me, thinking I'm funny...

• I hate when a music snob is looking through my iPod... any cred I might establish with the Black Keys is going to be immediately revoked when they get to Blessed Union of Souls. Damn it, I'm equal opportunity in music, don't judge me.
• Dear facebook, myspace, gmail, tmz, and perez hilton: Thank you for making me late all the time with absolutely no excuse that isn't totally embarrassing. "Hi, sorry I'm 15 minutes late, but I had to find out what happened with Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer."
• My public service of the day: Although I figured it was about insurance, I finally had to log on to nowwhat.com. It's State Farm, but I must say it's the most entertaining insurance site ever. My apartment ninja was a Worthy Rat on my first try. Beat that. Or, you can have a life and just take the knowledge what the site is about.
• Maybe it’s because I consider myself a writer of sorts, but I feel a lot of pressure to be overly clever with my facebook, myspace, and gmail status messages. If I can’t be witty in 8-10 words, it’s just not worth trying anymore.
• I am so annoyed with John Edwards. Not because he cheated on his wife. Because he gave a tiny shred of credibility to the National Enquirer. They will cling to this like the last chopper out of Vietnam.
• Thank you, gmail invisibility option. You are my 21st century caller ID and I love you for it.
• The Olympics are irrelevant, right? I love sports, but this isn't really a sports event. It's all heartwarming stories and VISA commercials. Is there a petition I can sign or something?
• Grocery stores and other entities that refer to toilet paper as “bath tissue:” you are sending an extremely dangerous message about what is acceptable bath behavior.
• When my dirty laundry has reached epic proportions, it becomes necessary to wear one of those fancy, lacy bras that I never wear. When I try to put it on, I feel like I’m 9 years old again, trying to put on my first bra. Everything is backwards and twisted. It’s like I made my own corset.
• There are few things more detrimental to the self-esteem than accidentally catching a glimpse of yourself in a magnifying mirror.
• I like looking in people’s windows as I’m walking by. Not in a creepy way, and I don’t linger- I don’t even pause or slow my walking. But I cannot resist the opportunity to peek into someone’s life without them knowing- the lack of self-awareness allows someone to be totally honest.