On friendship

I once read a little piece on friendship that was quoted in a Dear Abby column. It was comparing friendship to marriage and to the relationship between a parent and child, and even to a business partnership.

It made the excellent point that friendship is that one relationship- that one bond, that one union- that we enter into without any legal proceedings. Nothing binds us to our friends but our fondness for each other. It is a relationship that we look to for security, but has none. Anyone can extinguish a friendship at any time for any reason, with no repercussions.

In a business partnership, there may not be fondness. There may not be trust. There may not be cordiality. But those are the bases of a friendship.

In a relationship between parent and child, there is an unequal power balance. The parent has authority, makes the decisions (ideally), and wields the control. A friendship is based on the nature of equality and the even sharing of power and decision-making between friends.

And marriage. You can only marry one person. Can you imagine the same limitation on friendships? There is always the question- would you rather have one close friend or 5 more distant ones. Can you even think to decide between the two? So many people respond- I would like 5 close friends, please and thank you. Me too.

My best friend lives 2000 miles away. It's probably one of the most difficult things I have had to deal with in a long time. God has been kind enough to send her here when I need her most (a breakup, for instance). But when you think about the insecurity of friendship, you know that a long-distance romance is one thing, but a long-distance friendship is harder than you can imagine.