An old blog from myspace

Random observations (as inspired by Mitch)

Everything, with the exception of ice cream, tastes better with ranch dressing.

Being poor is okay. Being cheap is not.

I will never be satisfied with any of my profile pictures.

I buy CDs because I always like the B-side songs better.

It's perfectly fine to fake like you know shit.

I like to dance, even if there is no one else dancing. And no dance floor. And no music.

Men aren't all dicks. They are just different from women. Women aren't all crazy. They are just different from men. As soon as we all grasp this concept, we will be a lot better off.

Adam Dunn didn't just start sucking as a fielder. He just looked better compared to Wily Mo Pena than he does compared to Austin Kearns.

Catcher is the most underrated position in baseball.

If you keep going to the same places, talking to the same people, and doing the same thing, don't bitch that your life sucks.

If your profile name is something other than your name, it better be fucking clever.

There is an inverse proportion between attractiveness and fashion. The uglier you are, the better you have to dress. It's unfair, but so is a lot of stuff.

I have a couple dream jobs. One is baseball manager. The other is guerilla fashion advisor. I'd like to just go grab people and take them shopping. I'm just trying to make the world a better place.

Men call at 2am because they are horny and haven't met anyone at the bar willing to have sex with them. Women call at 2am not because they want to have sex, but because they want men to be thinking about having sex with them. For some reason, women are obsessed with having men be in love with them regardless of whether they like the guy or not. I'm a chick and I don't get it, so don't ask me to explain further.

Nice, shy guys think that they will never find nice women who don't play games. What they don't realize is that women play games with them because nice, shy guys scare easier than a chipmunks.

The rain will always blow in the direction of coming in my window.

There is an inverse proportion to the importance of your blog to the number of people who will respond to it- in other words, the more mundane, the more people respond.

Why can't we all just cuss and people get over it?

Pretty people have it easier. Bummer.

You know what would improve golf? Brawls.

If I was a basketball player, I would foul out of every game. And if I was a baseball player, I'd cleat every guy I ran into.

That's enough for now.