a rose by any other name...

Could very well smell like shit. Names are important. Not just in how one is perceived by others, but how one perceives oneself.

I have a weird name. It's gender-ambiguous as well as being uncommon. People remember me because my name is Dale. When I entered sorority rush, everyone remembered me or knew me because I was "that girl named Dale."

It's a family name. Not only do my father and late grandfather share the name, I have a female cousin named Dale as well. We are either a sentimental family or an unoriginal one. I suppose there's no reason we can't be both. I was going to be named Dale if I had been a boy, although I would have had a different middle name and been the III. I've never understood why I didn't still receive my dad and grandpa's middle name; it's Avery, which is a gender-neutral name as well. But I have Marie (my grandmother's middle name- our unoriginality knows no ends). My mother tells me the only other female name they considered was her grandmother's name- Greta. If you know me, you know that the idea of me as Greta is as bizarre as if I had a third arm. I am not a Greta, or a Tiffany, or a Rebecca. I'm a Dale. People even say that it seems to fit me perfectly.

As a child, I wasn't that thrilled with my name. I wanted to go by Bebe, which is the nickname my entire family uses for me. At age 30, everyone from my parents to second cousins twice removed call me Bebe. I wouldn't even turn my head if my sister called me Dale. Likewise, if my friends called me Bebe, I would continue to daydream.

It's not just my own experience which reinforces this theory. Studies have been done where teachers are given random essays which are assigned names that are considered "desirable" and "normal," i.e., Michael, Katie, Amy, Joe and some that are less desirable- Bert, Elmer, Agnes, Dorothy (sounds to me like those are just old people names, but I digress). Regardless of the essay, the students with normal names received significantly higher scores. A similar study conducted a faux election where some candidates had standard all-American names and some had names that conferred a more ethnic vibe. Again, respondents voted for the all-Americans... regardless of their own backgrounds, remarkably.

More recent studies have shown that young men who have uncommon names or unpopular names (especially ones with a feminine undertone) were more likely to commit crimes, be violent, or get into trouble in general.

I knew a girl in college named Amber. She said she hated her name- she called it a stripper name. She didn't like her middle name either (I think it was Jean?), which she called an old lady name. I know people who refuse to tell middle names because they find them so repellent. I used to be annoyed with my last name, only because it is consistently misspelled and mispronounced. It also sounds too similar to pants and putz. But now, I'm the last of the line, and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Many American Indian tribes gave temporary names to children until they reached adolescence, when they would choose a name for themselves. Generally part of the naming process was a vision quest- figuring out who they are and what they want to be, and name themselves accordingly. Seems like those tribes didn't even need the research.

Maybe a rose would smell as sweet if it was called a turd. But I don't see people taking their chances on naming their sons Elmer and Herbert.