death, poop, and love

Many a comedian has made jokes about how public speaking is people's number one fear and death is second.  What is a fear of death is really a fear of uncertainty- we don't know what's going to happen.  If there was a way to know that after death we got to go to heaven and party like rock stars for eternity, we'd look forward to it.  But we don't know.  Uncertainty is scary- that's why people resist change. 

The fear related to public speaking is the fear of vulnerability.  People don't like being in the inferior position of power.  When I taught public speaking, instead of telling my students to picture the audience naked, I would tell them to picture the audience pooping.  Pooping is the ultimate vulnerability.  Not only do you have the nudity aspect, you are trapped.  You are a slave to your body's physiological function- not to mention a function that is kind of stinky.

Those are our two ultimate fears- vulnerability and uncertainty.  And that's why love is such a scary proposition.  It's those two things together- you are allowing someone to have some control over your fate, your happiness, and you have no idea what's going to happen.

I personally don't enjoy feeling feelings.  Moods are okay.  I like being happy.  But feeling emotions is a bit uncomfortable, even if it's joy.  Therefore, I'm a commitment-phobe.  Besides my dedication to Verizon Wireless, I can't keep a commitment to anything.  If I live in an apartment for more than 2 years, it's like a long-term home for me.  I've never had a "real job" and definitely not a career.  And boys- well, they are like buses.  You miss one, and there will either be another one, or that one will come back around.

I'm not advocating this mindset by any means.  I'm sure that there is a lot to be gained by being in touch with your feelings and open to love and willing to poop in someone's presence for the rest of your life.  But I'm going to stick with my shallow existence for now.

A last couple notes- I haven't been writing on here as much because I've been writing on The Cincinnati Man.  You can read my stuff there and on my Twitter. 

 Also, why is poop such a funnier word than poo?  Any insight?