where am i going and why am i in this handbasket?

Neil was so kind as to send me a link that sufficiently put a damper on my evening. American Revolution/Civil War/Great Depression 2.0 all rolled up in one come 2012. Doesn't this guy predict any good things? For pete's sake... I bet he doesn't get a lot of dinner party invites.

That's not to say I can't see where Jerry's coming from. I mean, to the majority of America, the whole collapse of our economy might have come as a surprise, but really- if you had been paying attention, the United States has been circling the shitter for quite some time now. The haves and have-nots have been getting further and further removed. While the Prius and Honda hybrids were sitting in the driveways of hippies and Nader supporters, Hummers and giant SUVs were getting pimped with personal DVD players for each and every kid. People were selling their 2,000 square foot homes because they needed more room for the second child they were expecting.

As the President-elect pointed out, instead of putting money into alternative energy, we've been throwing money in construction- bigger houses, bigger hotels, bigger buildings. Unless GM develops cars that run on oak cabinets and wall-to-wall carpeting, those were not so much great investments as they were (and are) money pits.

There's a cyclical nature to life. In most cultures, religions, societies, etc, there is some kind of circle of life- not just a Lion King circle of life, but one where things come and go, whether it's life, health, money, trends. In the mid 80s, environmentalism was huge. Saving the rain forests, recycling, endangered species- it was all the rage. Then, people got distracted. The Internet came around, and all of a sudden, people were making money, a lot of it. Technology was moving fast, and society couldn't keep up. Supply and demand went all out of whack, and the excesses that made us all fat and happy also made us lazy.

We thought ourselves infallible, and when the World Trade Center attacks occurred, it was all the more devastating because we suddenly realized that we were not invincible after all- in fact, we were terribly vulnerable. We had an enemy that we knew nothing about. It was becoming all the more difficult to concentrate on finding the new Xbox rather than what was happening around the world.

All great empires come to an end. They all fall, sooner or later. Holy Roman, Ottoman, British, and many more, have come and gone. Perhaps, in 2012, we'll see the beginning of the end of America's dominance in the world. Or not. But I don't think Gerald Celente is all that prophetic. He's just been paying attention.

put a ring on it

Apparently I'm having some sort of creative burst lately. I'm sure a drought will come soon enough, but maybe I can bust out enough to get you through.

I recently had a bit of my writing published in CiN Weekly, the Cincinnati Enquirer's weekly YP-geared paper. And when I reflected upon it in its published state (it's bits and pieces of previous posts on here, mostly), it comes off as very pro-monogamy. Monogamy is well and good, but that wasn't really my point. It was more anti-bullshit and anti-excuses than pro-monogamy. If you want to sow, sow. Just don't put a ring on it. I have absolutely no problems with "players" or the George Clooneys of the world. It's the Eliot Spitzers who go and get married and then mess around.

I've theorized (there's no real work in theorizing, which is what I like about it) that you can break down attraction and intimacy and commitment into three stages (you can sort it out a lot of other ways, but stick with me for a sec). First, you like each other. You want to see each other and make out and blah blah blah. Then you start wanting them to be yours. You don't want them to be with other people. You get jealous. You think, I need to make this person my boyfriend/girlfriend so that he/she can't be with other people. The ultimate level (and THIS is the level you should get to before making a commitment) is when YOU don't want to be with anyone else. You can't build a relationship on keeping someone away from others. Which is why so-called "girl-power" anthems like Beyonce's "Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)" are misleading, and probably damaging to relationships. It's basically saying, oh, you regret letting me go? You should have made a commitment. No! You should make a commitment because it's that important to you to devote yourself to making this person a part of your life, making them happy, and being a better person for it.

Not to get sappy- because honestly, I don't see more value in commitment and monogamy than I do in sowing seeds and being George Clooney. As long as you're authentic and honest to yourself and others, there's no greater validity in any choice of lifestyle, as far as I'm concerned.

I'm not pro-monogamy. I'm not pro-polygamy. I'm not really pro-anything except do what results in a social exchange profit of maximum satisfaction for you and minimum cost to others.

A ring is not a leash. Nor is it bait. So no need to put one on it.

Put a glove on it, though- just the PSA of the day.

Peace out, kids

age ain't nothing but a number

Isn't it mad creepy that Aaliyah's first album was called that- given that it was produced by R. Kelly? And the rumors that they got married when she was 15? And then the later child pornography charges against Kelly? Age apparently is only a number for R. But I digress.

It is one week short of my 30th birthday. I'm pretty excited about it- because I've always been excited about my birthday. I think I make a big deal about it because it's smack dab between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and 3 days after my father's. If I didn't make a big deal about it, no one would.

In this era of Sex and the City and cougar-mania, they say that 40 is the new 20. Which I guess means I'm kind of turning 10. I'm okay with that. I certainly don't feel like a grown-up yet. People laugh when I say that I'm excited about turning 30 because I'm hoping to become less dumb. But I'm serious- I acknowledge my ignorance and I welcome opportunities to do something about it. We're all dumb about a lot of stuff (in the same line, we are all smart about a lot of stuff too). The sooner you realize it, the better.

I guess I could say that my life now isn't what I pictured for life at 30. But the truth is, I never really pictured my life at 30. Or 40. Or 25. Or 65. Whatever. I'm not a future-focused person. Nor am I a past-focused person. It's all about the present and what is fun and good and soul-satisfying right now. When I was about 8 or 9, I used to lay awake at night and obsess over my future- not details, but my own mortality. Heavy stuff for a 3rd grader, so since then I just don't think about it. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up, and I'm not necessarily certain that there is one thing that I will be happy to do my whole life. On par with other 30-year-olds, I might be behind the curve. I'm not a "YP." I have a master's degree that is useful only in having something to fill that frame I bought. I still like to go out and dance until 3am on a Wednesday night. I hate waking up early. I hate wearing suits. I have no desire to get married any time soon, and I'm not sure kids will ever be in my future. I don't wanna grow up. I'm not a Toys 'R' Us kid, either. I am perfectly happy suspended in this state of arrested development. And some guy guessed my age as 23 the other day, so I can probably rock this boat a bit longer.

I'm not stressed about turning 30. It's presumptuous to say, but I'm fairly certain 40, 50, et al will be okay too. It is just a number, and as long as I stay a late bloomer, I'm sure it will be all the easier to bear.

Closing in on 30, but not maturity.