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The final installment- at least for now...

• Regarding fried macaroni and cheese bites- clearly, someone looked at mozzarella sticks and said, "That's just too healthy. I think I'll add processed cheese and pasta." I have a sneaking suspicion that anti-American terrorists are really the ones behind all the fried food madness. Somewhere, in the Deep South, there's a dude burning flags and frying Snickers.
• On one hand, the beginning of the month is when my rent, utilities, cable/internet, and insurance are all due. On the other, it's when I get all my magazine subscriptions. It makes going to the mailbox a really conflicted affair.
• I like to read the "missed connections" ads on craigslist. It kind of makes me wish I didn't boycott Wal-Mart so I could attempt to confirm all of the "sexy blonde ladies" who shop there.
• To my dog: how do you choose that particular spot to poop? There must be factors, since you circled it for 5 minutes. Even when there's 45 stalls in a public restroom, I can still choose one in about 30 seconds. What do you know, Deva?
• In my attempt to save the planet, I use reusable grocery bags. Unfortunately, I have run out of plastic bags to pick up the aforementioned poops. So, while I attempt to procure bags in other ways (Kroger is really confused when you ask them for the bags they collect to recycle), I did end up having to get a box of poop bags. My guilt was tempered by the fact that they are biodegradable (and I still haven't had to use them). But, the small print under "100% biodegradable" is "except by California standards." What does California know that we don't?
• To the man driving the Chevy Aveo with a Cherry Bomb muffler (those really loud ones): I will never understand you. Ever.
• In Playboy, they were giving advice on how to hit on a woman who you only saw while she was working (server, store clerk, bartender, etc). On the subject of gratuity, they recommended that you tip the customary 20% "so she knows you don't see her as a prostitute." Speaking as a female bartender, I know you don't see me as a prostitute, because I'm not offering you sex on a street corner. Tip me as much as you want and I promise not to feel objectified.
  

I'm fairly certain I'm done with these for now. I felt pressured with October coming up and not having a post in September. I could promise that I'll do better next month, but I don't want to lie to you.